my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize
