Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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