Moan for me like Helen Keller
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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