I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Randomize
