I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Randomize
