WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
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I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
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It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.