Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.