Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.