SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend