Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
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