i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
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