Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
