So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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