So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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