Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Rock
Scissors
Fuck
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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