Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
you inspire me to be a worse person
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
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