I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Im part way to drunk.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Randomize
