her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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