Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Randomize
