he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize