A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
