on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
