I just saw a hot homeless man
another moral hangover. fuck.
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Randomize