summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
