my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Randomize
