I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
