There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
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after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
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We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
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