I'm jealous of your bromance
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
