the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
Randomize
