physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Randomize
