I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Randomize
