Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
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