So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
