I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
