super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
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