I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
