No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
