You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
My pussy is not your playground.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
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