Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Randomize
