I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
