I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Randomize
