So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
she pinky promised me she was 18
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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