yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Randomize
