Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
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It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
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When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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