obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
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