I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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