On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Randomize
