You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Randomize
