using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
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