before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
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