After last night, I could never be a politician.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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