So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
