I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
i think im in europe. pls send help
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