I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
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