He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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