Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
