You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
