i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
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