how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
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