best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
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