Moan for me like Helen Keller
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Randomize
