She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
