the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize