No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
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