I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize
