she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Randomize
