i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Randomize
